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Fear.

 

"Feel the fear" a wise man once said, standing on stage in front of me at a conference room in the media department of Thames Valley University, as I was about to embark on my first public reading of a travel news bulletin. “Who would like to feel the fear first?” The voice boomed again. I put my hand up, heart pumping, trying to concentrate on the words I’d so carefully crafted over the space of 15 minutes…

Perhaps I should explain why I was there in the first place to give some perspective to all this. 

A long term friend of mine that I presented a hospital radio show with, called me one day when I was on a bus journey (he'd remember the bus number, I can't) to say he knew of a way we could ‘get into actual radio’, a Travel News course he’d seen advertised. At first I slated his idea, as I felt it sounded like an extremely boring waste of cash, little did I know what the future had in store for me. I ended up changing my mind and booking onto this weekend course at Thames Valley University.

It was a very well organised course, run by a well-known television and radio personality. With guest speakers including industry professionals from the leading travel news providers potentially on the look out for new emerging talent.


So back to it…
There I am in a room of people, all eyes on me. I stood up, ready to walk onto that stage and “feel the fear”.
When I look back now, it turned out to be an audition for a job. I’ve since discovered after a well overdue reunion with that well-known television and radio personality, that it was only me and my friend that were offered an opportunity to join one of the travel news providers from the entire course. We smashed it under pressure and dealt with that fear.
We were both given the opportunity to shine, and the best thing you can do when presented with that is to justify your employment by continuing to learn and shine for that employer and yourself.
The year 2002 really was the official beginning of my broadcasting career. But maybe, it should have or could have been a year sooner.


In all honesty, this “feel the fear” mentality came a little later for me than I actually probably needed.
You see, in 2001, I’d sent off a few demo tapes in the post (yes actual cassette recording tapes) to big radio brands, with various clips of my hospital radio shows. I received some thanks but no thanks, positive feedback and also this letter from the program director of Capital radio in London, asking me to provide a few further links from my shows. My dream job. Capital. Wow! 
What did I do about it? Nothing. I sat on it (not literally) of course. But why? I didn't know then, but I know now; fear of failure. What if I sent in the further examples as requested by Jeff Smith and they didn’t like me? 
If that were to happen, that’s it I'm thinking, the end of a dream. 
So rather than face the ultimate fear, I would have sooner not known. A strange mentality I know, but hey, that’s me.



Fast forward many years and all that’s history I guess. I’ve learnt one way of dealing with the 'fear' is to not put all your eggs into one basket. Ironically it's partly why I didn't get any further than a 'chat' with Radio 1. At that point, yes I did have my eggs in just the one basket and to put it bluntly, that at the time wasn't quite enough for that particular high profile individual having the 'chat' with me.

Yes it's a cliche. However, by not having all your eggs in one basket, you simply become less reliant upon just the one area of succession and therefore are less likely to not want to take the risks to be successful in those areas. 

Perhaps then, don’t just “feel the fear” but face it full on too. You’ll probably be the better for it.


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